{"id":183,"date":"2013-12-29T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-12-29T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yule-tide.generalsemiotics.net\/index.php\/2013\/12\/29\/post-176-did-anything-good-happen-in-2013-dave-barry\/"},"modified":"2013-12-29T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-12-29T00:00:00","slug":"post-176-did-anything-good-happen-in-2013-dave-barry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/2013\/12\/29\/post-176-did-anything-good-happen-in-2013-dave-barry\/","title":{"rendered":"Post-176: “Did Anything Good Happen in 2013?” (Dave Barry)"},"content":{"rendered":"
I found this to be funny, from Dave Barry:\n<\/div>\n

Did anything good happen in 2013? Yes! There was one shining ray of hope in the person of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford , who admitted that, while in office, he smoked crack cocaine, but noted, by way of explanation, that this happened \u201cprobably in one of my drunken stupors.\u201d This was probably the most honest statement emitted by any elected official this year, and we can only hope that more of our leaders follow Mayor Ford\u2019s lead in 2014. (We mean being honest, not smoking crack in a drunken stupor.) (Although really, how much worse would that be?)
<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

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.<\/font><\/a> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
It’s part of a longer year-end review:\n<\/div>\n
Read More<\/font><\/strong><\/font><\/a>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

Dave Barry\u2019s Review of 2013, the Year of the Zombies<\/strong><\/a><\/font>

<\/span><\/span>It was the Year of the Zombies. Not in the sense of most of humanity dying from a horrible plague and then reanimating as mindless flesh-eating ghouls. No, it was much worse than that. Because as bad as a zombie apocalypse would be, at least it wouldn\u2019t involve the resurrection of Anthony Weiner\u2019s most private part.<\/p>\n

We thought that thing was out of our lives forever, but suddenly there it was again, all over the Internet, as Weiner came back from the political grave like the phoenix, the mythical bird that arose from the ashes to run for mayor of New York and use the name \u201cCarlos Danger\u201d to text obscene photos of its privates to somebody named \u201cSydney Leathers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Speaking of pathologically narcissistic sex weasels: Also coming back from the dead in 2013 to seek elective office in New York (What IS it with New York?) was Eliot \u201cClient 9\u201d Spitzer, who ran for city comptroller under the slogan: \u201cIf you can\u2019t trust a proven sleazebag with your municipal finances, who CAN you trust?\u201d<\/p>\n

And then \u2014 not to leave out the ladies \u2014 there was Miley Cyrus. We thought her career was over; we remembered her fondly as a cute and perky child star who played Hannah Montana, wholesome idol of millions of preteens. And then one night we turned on MTV\u2019s Video Music Awards and YIKES there was this horrifying, mutant, vaguely reptilian creature in Slut Barbie underwear twerking all over the stage while committing unhygienic acts with both Robin Thicke and a foam finger, both of which we hope were confiscated by a hazmat team.<\/p>\n

This year was so bad that twerking wasn\u2019t even the stupidest dance craze. That would be the \u201cHarlem Shake,\u201d which is not so much a dance as a mass nervous-system disorder, and which makes the \u201cGangnam Style\u201d dance we mocked in 2012 look like \u201cSwan Lake.\u201d<\/p>\n

We miss 2012.<\/p>\n

But getting back to the zombies: It wasn\u2019t just people who came back alarmingly in 2013. The Cold War with Russia came back. Al-Qaeda came back. Turmoil in the Middle East came back. The debt ceiling came back. The major league baseball drug scandal came back. Dennis Rodman came back and went on humanitarian missions to North Korea (or maybe we just hallucinated that). The Endlessly Looming Government Shutdown came back. People lining up to buy iPhones to replace iPhones that they bought only minutes earlier came back. And for approximately the 250th time, the Obama administration pivoted back to the economy, which has somehow been recovering for years now without actually getting any better. Unfortunately, before they could get the darned thing fixed, the administration had to pivot back to yet another zombie issue, health care, because it turned out that Obamacare, despite all the massive brainpower behind it, had some \u201cglitches,\u201d in the same sense that the universe has some \u201catoms.\u201d<\/p>\n

Were there any new trends in 2013? Yes, but they were not good. Kale, for example. Suddenly this year restaurants started putting kale into everything, despite the fact that it is an unappetizing form of plant life that until recently was used primarily for insulation. Even goats will not eat it. Goats, when presented with kale, are like, \u201cNo, thanks, we\u2019ll just chew on used seat cushions.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another annoying 2013 trend was people who think it is clever to say \u201chashtag\u201d in front of everything. Listen carefully, people who think this is clever: Hashtag shut up.

<\/span><\/span>Did anything good happen in 2013? Yes! There was one shining ray of hope in the person of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford , who admitted that, while in office, he smoked crack cocaine, but noted, by way of explanation, that this happened \u201cprobably in one of my drunken stupors.\u201d This was probably the most honest statement emitted by any elected official this year, and we can only hope that more of our leaders follow Mayor Ford\u2019s lead in 2014. (We mean being honest, not smoking crack in a drunken stupor.) (Although really, how much worse would that be?)<\/p>\n

[A month-by-month commentary follows<\/a>]\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I found this to be funny, from Dave Barry: Did anything good happen in 2013? Yes! There was one shining ray of hope in the person of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford , who admitted that, while in office, he smoked crack cocaine, but noted, by way of explanation, that this happened \u201cprobably in one of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=183"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yule-tide.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}